So here I am, intent on appearing professional, having my CRB check with the Director of Patient Services, the person I want to impress. She opens my passport and starts to laugh. And I think, how rude, my photo's not that bad. She holds it out to me, it takes a moment to register that the image is of a bearded man. The obvious, and indeed rational, explanation, that I have picked up my husband's passport by mistake, does not come immediately. Instead my mind is indignant, who has dared to replace my photo with this alien one, of some random person, who I don't even recognise?

Luckily, my brain gets between thought and word and paints a grin on my face, as I twitter, oh gosh, how silly of me.

"Never mind," she replies, "At least it gave me a laugh this morning." Perhaps she is compassionate or maybe she thinks poets can be forgiven for being scatty.