The desire to unclutter my life of irritating, destructive and un-nourishing relationships. I was going to say nonsense, but no, I want nonsense in my life, the kind of nonsense that makes me laugh. The nonsense that reminds me not to take myself too seriously and allows me to see the ridiculous side of me. What I don't want is other people's nonsense, the "should"s and "have to"s, the guilt laden manipulations which are silently injected before I've even noticed. I want the courage to go for the nakedness and for that I need closeness with those who encourage me in that and distance from those who don't.
"Peace to look, life to listen and confess,
Freedom to find to find to find
Mariel Rukeyeser 'Song', Map of Hope, Penguin (1999).
But my courage evaporates when I read about Constance Briscoe being sued by her mother over the accuracy of Constance's memoir Ugly. And her mother's lawyer is taking the fact that Constance never told anyone when she was a child as proof that she is "spinning a yarn". I hope the judge has had some training on the realities of child abuse.
This story must send a shiver down the spine of anyone embarking on their memoirs. I am no lover of so-called misery memoirs, but if this case is found in favour of the mother, it will be a warning to anyone in search of that nakedness.